


If I liked your sky, and you liked mine...

by shamelessllamapeanutthing



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Internal Monologue, M/M, Other, a lot of it, asexual urahara, lesbian Yoruichi, urahara and Yoruichi being best bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:06:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessllamapeanutthing/pseuds/shamelessllamapeanutthing
Summary: A budding friendship and a couple of missteps ft. ace/aro Urahara and gay Yoruichi.
Relationships: Ichimaru Gin/Matsumoto Rangiku, Kyouraku Shunsui/Ukitake Juushirou, Shihouin Yoruichi & Urahara Kisuke, Shihouin Yoruichi/Sui-Feng | Soifon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29
Collections: The Seireitei Server Birthday Gift Exchange 2020





	If I liked your sky, and you liked mine...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sonnets_and_snowdrops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnets_and_snowdrops/gifts).



> I tried my best with this. I work mostly (read: only) with romance so this was quite the challenge. I tried to incoporate all the tags requested and I hope you like this!!!!
> 
> A HUGE thank you to [mary_emzee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mary_emzee/pseuds/mary_emzee) for being an AMAZING beta. Love you lots.

The cracked watch on his wrist is an insistent reminder of how he is late for his first lecture but Kisuke doesn’t really care. They will be taught nothing he doesn’t know, just one of the perks of being a nerd and Soi Fon, the only reason he ever got to university on time, has gone on ahead minutes ago. His fingers fumbled with the key to the lock on his door, aim off as it is characteristic of hasty actions and he can’t stop looking at the ticking hands on the face of the worn-out Rado he had to save up two entire years for. He doesn’t care he’s going to be late, but his body rushes to meet the given time of arrival.

He supposes it's but right. 

Once he is finally successful in locking the door, he rushes downstairs and out of his dingy apartment complex, if it can be called that, hand shoving the single key deep inside his jeans pocket. The usual pungent odour that comes from the overflowing dumpsters placed uncomfortably close to their block is smothered by something fresher, greener, sweeter. The sky above him is grey like his eyes. Kisuke thinks it might rain. 

He hasn’t taken two steps down the road when he sees her. 

He has never seen hair so dark it appears violet, but a thick coil of the same runs down the woman’s muscled back in waist-long braids pulled up in a ponytail. She is crouching to the side, being shadowed by the tall wall of the complex, frame hunched over the smartphone in her hand. 

He doesn’t mean to startle her, and he doesn’t. She hears his near-silent footsteps long before he can draw close enough to peek at the screen over her shoulder. The way she jumps up and crowds the device against her chest is suspicious. 

She looks foreign. Kisuke forms his lips into a friendly smile and offers in English, 

“I can tell you which flats will cough up the most if you promise to stay away from mine.” 

The girl’s eye twitches and he hopes she doesn’t get offended. It does sound like an offensive joke, he figures but she looks pretty fishy, he justifies. 

She gives him a smile of her own. Her amber eyes look frigid. It’s only fair. 

“There are nicer places to rob, you little rat.” She eyes him head-to-toe. Kisuke feels his shoulders relax. His body has forgotten the need to be in class for a second. “You only prove that.” 

He holds up his wrist and points to his Rado. Her smile deepens a little and he notices it’s slightly lopsided and completely charming.

“Oh, is that how you know which flats will cough up the most? Prior experience?” 

Kisuke nods seriously, with an exaggerated roll of his eyes to imitate a man recalling past memories. “Community service really opened the way for a change of heart, you see.” 

She offers him an amused shake of her head and extends her hand towards him. He clasps it and marvels at her firm, unyielding grip. 

“Shihouin Yoruichi. You are to call me Yoruichi” she states and Kisuke’s brows crawl up his forehead a second later like two hairy, lethargic bugs. 

“Urahara Kisuke.”

… and he clearly hasn’t seen the extent to which her (frankly intimidating) grin can widen, for it does so again. She steps back and he mindlessly falls in step beside her, like they’ve been doing this every day of their lives. 

“You look surprised.” To further baffle Kisuke she utters in perfect, comfortable, confident Japanese, like she has been speaking it for years. Her tone lacks a foreign accent and her eyes are glittering too much for it to not be obvious that she enjoys catching people off-guard. 

“You don’t look Japanese.” 

“No shit. I am clearly Black.” 

He hums, says nothing because it’s true. The lull in the conversation alerts him to the fact that she is leading him down the way to his university. 

“I am half-Japanese, though. I just look nothing like my dad.”, she supplies. “Mom and I moved in two months ago for my uni. We live down the street behind.” 

Their pace is leisurely when for all intents and purposes, he should be running. It seems his instincts succumb to reason when he is not alone, though. 

“By the Nishigori’s?” 

She drawls out an affirmation. Her voice makes him smile. 

“Old money, are you?” For that is an extremely affluent neighbourhood. He never, even in his dreams, assumed someone from that part of Karakura Town would be this easy to speak to. 

“I suppose.”

He grins, because this opening is too good to be given up. With his elbow, he gently nudges her arm. 

“So… is the robbery thing just for kicks? Kleptomania? Teenage rebellion?” He gasps and places a hand on his chest. “Revenge plot?!” 

She laughs, it is a loud sound, unafraid and attention-grabbing. His shoulders sag because he has never managed to maintain friendships with people who can’t take a joke, and has sort of developed an aversion to them. 

He also hasn’t met anyone new in a long while. It’s freeing in a sense that he shies away from examining too closely. 

“Why would you rob someone as revenge? No, I’d probably convince my enemies their doorstep is haunted in retaliation.” 

He frowns. “Their doorstep.” 

“Yes.” 

“Just their doorstep?” 

“You got it.” 

He gives her a minute more to elaborate but she merely snorts at his expression. He bursts out laughing soon after. 

They walk along in silence and he gazes up at the sky again. It’s grey, unassuming, dreary even. He feels comforted, seen. He has always loved storms and stormy skies but people always found that strange. Everybody likes a bit of sun, they said. Blue is a prettier shade, they told him. He kept his preference close to heart after the tenth time someone in middle school laughed at him. 

He counted, of course, he counted. 

Urahara Kisuke loves mathematics, and life is a game of probabilities. The dice can roll anyway. 

Humans, humans are history though, facts blurring over time to form a narrative filled with prejudices that no one could explain but kept following, repeating, again and again. When humans didn’t like the number on the dice, they buried it under the current of time till the only mention it found was in hushed whispers, for it went against the normal they created. 

Urahara Kisuke loves mathematics though, and he counts. He is not history. 

In the dead of the night, sometimes when he feels exceptionally brave, he lets himself believe he is art. 

… 

When he sees Yoruichi next, it’s nearly four days later in the cafe near the university where he goes to get coffee between classes. He figured out they went to the same university when they walked together that day to the very gates of the establishment but Yoruichi was a business major and he studies the sciences, so once they parted ways they didn’t meet again. 

A sudden, small, soft smile makes it to his lips when he sees her. He feels glad but shelves away the sensation to examine later. 

“Hello, Yoruichi-san.” 

She looks up from where she has her face buried in a book fatter than Kisuke’s Physics guide and he could’ve sworn on his mother’s grave a book fatter than that tome wasn’t in existence. She grins, gestures at the chair in front of hers and he drops down with a sigh. 

It’s funny how tired he is, it’s funny how he didn’t realise it before he sat down. 

It’s obvious to her, apparently. 

“Who pissed in your coffee, Kisuke?”, she smirks. 

“I have not had the time to have any coffee today, thank you very much. Think I’ll get forty Espresso shots and die right now.” 

She chuckles. “That would be something. Very American of you, by the way.” 

He groans dramatically and she shakes her head. He enjoys making her laugh. 

“I’ll get you a cup, what do you want?” 

Kisuke is in no way stupid enough to turn down free anything, despite knowing that his fellow countrymen would be very ashamed of him right now. He tells her to ask Tessai behind the counter for ‘Urahara’s usual’ and she gives him a judgemental look like he is pathetic for having a usual. She does look like someone who would make her way through the menu, pick seven favourites and order them day-wise, after all. 

He states the same and gets told nobody does that, that she picks whatever she wants each day depending solely on her mood like a normal human. It makes sense but he can never imagine himself doing that, letting go enough to cater to every whim of his own. He believes he will get carried away too far. 

He isn’t stupid, and he knows he holds the threads of his life bunched up in a fist, tangled in the confines of his palm, confused, jumbled but taut and straight outside of it, set lines to follow when he is naked to the scrutiny of the world. He knows he overdoes it, but by nature, he is an extremist and he knows if he loosens his hold, the threads will spill past his fingers, and fall into completely new arrangements than what he shows the world.

The temptation makes him ache, anyway. As Yoruichi turns her back to walk up to the till he lets his mind wander into fantasies he usually restricts to the walls of his bedrooms but his newest friend has found a way to unlock in the span of one conversation, maybe because she is, blatantly, as much of a stranger in this world, he is supposed to fit in, as he is. It’s frightening, comforting and he finds his fantasy shifting from an honest life to an honest life in a whole new world with unfamiliar buildings and new faces. He doesn’t have to go out and change his truth in the eyes of the masses, he simply has to state it and never deal with having lied, for he has never existed as anything other than who he is. 

Maybe she can be by his side, too. 

It’s painful to feel so alienated, but familiar. If some part of him craves for change, well, he is a master at silencing it. 

She returns with a fruity looking monstrosity for herself. He groans at the mere sight; makes retching noises and she stomps on his foot.

“Why did you not have time to grab a coffee today?”, she questions, but her tone is painfully pointed, intent. He gives her a look she pretends to ignore. 

“Soi Fon, my neighbour, we walk to classes together every day and she promised to tutor someone in the library before first lecture today so she dragged me here early along with her. I always end up being late if she’s not there to quite literally pull me out of the apartment.” 

A certain tightness in Yoruichi’s expression that he hadn’t noticed before unravels and Kisuke finds himself carefully regarding her again. It’s as if she has been looking to be told exactly this all morning. 

“Ah.” She nods far too intently. 

“Wait? Were you waiting for me today?” 

It seems as absurd as it sounds but he has no other explanation for Yoruichi’s reaction. Apparently, he has turned the tabled though for she looks startled and her eyes don’t appear half as excited at the prospect of being the one who was caught off-guard. 

It seems unlikely, but for a second, he thinks she is just as tightly wound as him. 

“What-? No! I mean, yes!” She bangs her fists against the table-top emphatically and Kisuke reaches out to steady both of their drinks. “Yes! I wanted to walk with you because I have nobody else to walk to uni with. Will your friend mind?” She rushes forward at the question. He sits back. 

“I…” he doesn’t know, Soi Fon is turbulent as turbulent goes. “I am not sure. I don’t understand her idea of friendship because she is very blunt and standoffish with everyone. She seems to hate me; anyone would say she hates me but honestly I could swear she adores me.” 

Yoruichi purses her lips for a flash of a moment before she is leaning forward again. 

“I won’t do anything to irritate her, I promise.” 

Kisuke has some amazing puppy dog eyes, Shunsui regularly employs them on Juushiro after all but he is presently being faced by the exact opposite, cat eyes. They are demanding, strong and confident in people’s inability to deny them. Kisuke decides he is not going to be the one to prove them wrong. 

He nods his approval and he can swear (not upon his mother’s grave this time because in the span of two meetings Yoruichi has surprised him enough to shame whatever betting skills he thought he possessed.) that she lights up. Her mouth curls into the widest grin ever, endearingly sharp canines grazing her lower lip and before he knows he is smiling along. The grin feels secretive, something that is their own even when he knows neither of them truly understand what the other is thinking at this point. 

“I have an important Economics test in a month and I suck at it.” He declares because secrets are meant to be kept to oneself and this sudden sense of camaraderie, while welcome, throws him off. 

“I thought you said you studied Science?” 

He nods. “My minor is in Economics.” 

“You’re a fucking idiot.” He agrees. 

She takes a long sip of her (ghastly) drink and gives him an assessing look. 

“I can teach you. I happen to be great at it.” 

It becomes a ritual thereafter. They meet up in the cafe between or after lectures and she helps him with Economics. He learns a lot because Yoruichi is undeniably smart and seems to know what she’s saying, as well as being a good teacher. Every meeting they have features conversations about her joining him and Soi Fon on their route to school every morning, and she seems excited but always makes ridiculous excuses to avoid going the next day. It’s almost as if she’s gathering courage, which is frankly ridiculous.

After all, who in the world could make Shihouin Yoruichi lose her shit?

The morning she actually manages to show up to walk with them, she stumbles, braces herself against Kisuke’s shoulder takes a deep breath and flexes the hell out. Her grins are wide, charming and she can’t stop talking about how good her grades are, and how rich her family is, and how popular she was back in London. All the while, her hand shivers in Kisuke’s grasp. 

He tightens his hold and finds the answer to his question. 

Soi Fon, that’s who. 

…

Kisuke and Yoruichi only grow closer after that morning. In their study session, Yoruichi comes out and asks him if he and Soi Fon are an item. For the first time he tells someone he won’t ever be an item with anyone. 

Neither of them states the truth outright, and Kisuke is glad for that. He isn’t ready to deal with it. The closet is a damned place to be, suffocating but safe. You can throw the door open, look around, find another one with gates similarly flung wide and try to comfort the other person from across the sea of people loitering outside with their cruel smirks and nasty words, but actually, stepping out? 

It takes more guts than he possesses. 

He reasons with himself, it’s not like it’s significant in any way. Coming out for him isn’t going to open new possibilities as it will for her. His life would essentially remain the same except people will find another reason to try to cast him out. 

He feels himself cringe when he remembers he is a full-grown adult ridiculously scared of being disliked by the world. It’s pathetic. 

Watching Soi Fon and Yoruichi interact is sweet in itself, though. Soi Fon looks at Yoruichi like she hung the moon and Yoruichi soon realises she doesn’t have to keep bragging in front of her. They fall in step with each other like it’s the most natural thing in the world. A new dynamic emerges in which Yoruichi and Kisuke band together to tease Soi Fon every morning and she grumbles and blushes, calls him a useless old fart and bites her lip when Yoruichi ruffles her hair. Mornings become something to look up to. 

He hears Yoruichi mention how she loves the smell of the rain one dark monsoon evening when you can taste the crisp salt in the air. Soi Fon nods.

Kisuke loops his arms around both of their shoulders. 

…

For some reason, their university holds a carnival every year that the first-year student body bands together to put up. Kisuke becomes convinced Yoruichi has a hidden masochism kink when he finds out she volunteered to lead the planning committee. 

He corrects his assumption from masochism to sadism when he realises, she is fully intent on making him her assistant. 

“No way in hell, Yoruichi-san.” Is what he says. She gets her way when she pounces on him in the middle of the road as they’re walking back home and tickles him till, he gives in. 

She gets off on power, and she has decided Soi Fon is too distracting to facilitate the intoxication process, hence Kisuke reluctantly signs his name and surprisingly (not) they are selected. 

It may have something to do with how nobody else volunteered because they have brains and lack a best friend who’s basically a big cat stuck in some sort of a mating dance to attract her crush which involves upstaging everyone at everything. It’s ridiculous, he finds it adorable. 

Just because he can’t feel that sort of love, doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy watching his friends find it. It was one of the few arguments he gave himself on desperately lonely night when his brain whispered to him that he was a heartless freak. 

Presently, he is walking to the empty classroom that has temporarily been turned into the planning committee’s office, when he hears the voices, tones frustrated, tempos rising. He stops, ears standing to catch every bit of the escalating fight. 

He doesn’t take a second to recognise Yoruichi’s voice, however, and is rushing in moments later. 

It’s Aizen, of course, it’s Aizen. The man is a piece of shit and he doesn’t know why Yoruichi allowed him on the committee. Presently, he sits with his arms folded across his chest, eyes half-lidded, smirk dripping with condescension as Yoruichi stands across the table from him, fingers jabbing in a pointing motion as she finishes the sentence Kisuke didn’t pay attention to. 

“This is why I don’t engage with women; you know? You blow your fuse and can’t have one logical discussion and then you feel irritated when someone calls you hysterical.”, he intones. At his shoulder, his friend Gin shifts his feet and avoids looking at his girlfriend Rangiku who is staring at him as if waiting for him to speak up. 

Kisuke has no idea why Gin puts up with Aizen. The kid’s clearly way smarter than to think that dick is worth anything. 

“You’re sexually harassing Hinamori and if someone calls you out on your bullshit, they’re stupid for being too emotional! Not everybody is an emotionless freak like you with no sense of right and wrong, you sexist fuck!” Rangiku fires. 

Aizen gives her an insultingly belittling smile. “I am not going to insult you Matsumoto-san since my brother here clearly has his heart set on you but I will say, you’re being ridiculous like these other girls. I honestly thought Gin had taste.” 

Yoruichi snorts but Aizen is holding up a hand and rising to his feet. Somehow, he has detected Kisuke in the doorway with his weird sixth sense because he’s a creepy sociopath and that’s a fact. He turns towards Kisuke and smiles. 

Yoruichi seethes at being interrupted and turns around to follow Aizen’s gaze. Her shoulders slump when she recognises who’s standing in the doorway, eyes losing some of their vitriol as she rolls her eyes and nods towards Aizen. 

It warms Kisuke to see Yoruichi’s faith in him. She knows and expects him to be in her corner (of course he is, he has only been here five seconds and he can tell if someone calls Aizen a misogynist they won’t be wrong) but the way her frame slouches in relief lights up a fire in his. He has never felt this weirdly protective of someone, and it has nothing to do with the woman-hating connotations of the conversation and everything to do with the look on Yoruichi’s face because clearly, Rangiku, Toshiro, Kuchiki have all been arguing with Aizen along with her but it’s Kisuke’s presence that makes her weary expression lighten with relief as if she’s convinced everything will be okay now that he is here. 

They are in this together. They’ve been in this together ever since that afternoon if the cafe and it’s not just wishful thinking on Kisuke’s part. 

It’s weird how much seemingly pointless gestures can ground someone because right about now, he feels like he can tear through the world to keep Yoruichi, and by extension Soi Fon, safe and happy.

“Urahara-san, your woman here has been frothing at the mouth for an hour over absolutely nothing. Come calm her down, why don’t you?” 

As calmly as he can, because it’s overpowering, the level of anger he feels at the dismissiveness in Aizen’s word, he says, “First of all, her name is Yoruichi. Secondly, we aren’t together. Finally, I won’t be ‘calming her down’ at all because she is entitled to her feelings and expressions and you acting like they are ridiculous or overblown doesn’t make them so.” 

That little show of support seems to be all Yoruichi needed for with sharp words she is regaining control of the situation again, forcing Aizen to face her and talk to her. Apparently, he spread around naked pictures of a girl called Hinamori who sent them to him in confidence. It is truly disgusting and Kisuke has an idea why Aizen was trying to insult and belittle everyone who called him out on his bullshit. He literally has no leg to stand on, no other way to defend himself. 

It’s satisfying watching her decimate Aizen’s entire existence. Power suits Yoruichi in a way it suits no one else. Kisuke notices Shiba Kukkaku gleefully recording the entire argument on her phone and makes a mental note to ask her to send it to him. 

Soi Fon will swoon. 

When they leave that day, Yoruichi seems exhausted and she leans heavily on Kisuke’s shoulder. Their third partner had gone on ahead earlier because she had to go visit her parents for the weekend. He wraps his arm around her waist and tugs her in carefully against his body. 

He doesn’t know if it’s the calming, assuring ochre of dusk or the warm body pressed against his but for the first time in a really long time, he doesn’t really care what the people watching are thinking.

They walk in silence and he realises he is perfectly happy, in this very moment. His heart is content and he wants for nothing. He has known all his life that him being aromantic and asexual didn’t mean he couldn’t feel affection for people around him, but every tangible proof of it sends his heart soaring. It makes him believe that he is not broken like the only person he had ever confided in had led him to believe.

Now, here, he is more thankful for Yoruichi than he has ever been. He is also thankful that she seems to derive the same support and courage from him as he does from her. It’s a sobering thought, bursts his happy bubble and places responsibility on his shoulders, heavy, important. 

Despite the weight, it feels more freeing than anything. The power a friendship holds is truly terrifying. 

He grins and she raises a brow in question. 

“I love you.”, he states, simple. For a beat, he waits for her eyes to widen and scramble for an explanation dreads having to explain things about himself he has never verbalised after that one devastating experience in high school when he had tried to come out to his then best friend but the moment never comes. Yoruichi simply grins and says, 

“I love you too.” 

…

The very next morning, it pours. Kisuke watches from his window, humming contently. There is something inherently calming about rainfall. He can’t rationalise it, even to himself but he enjoys the feeling that rain brings along. 

His doorbell rings and he wonders whether it’s Yoruichi or Soi Fon. When he opens the door he finds, to his surprise, it’s neither of them and someone completely unexpected instead. Or two someone, actually. 

Twin goofy grins stare at him from the soaking forms of Juushiro and Shunsui. Kisuke would ask questions if he were naive enough to, for even a single second, believe these two would give actual answers that won’t send his head spinning. 

He is convinced they enjoy fucking around with the rest of their friend circle. It seems fair. Collectively, they are smarter than all the rest of them put together, and nature wise they gel with each other like two peas in a pod. He’d call them soulmates, in both how well they complement each other and how their interests are well-aligned. Their favourite pastime is teasing and annoying the others, all while wearing sweet smiles that would deter anyone from giving them a talking to. 

They are by far, Kisuke’s favourites after Yoruichi from their little circle. 

Kisuke steps aside and Juushiro is storming in, Shunsui following like he always does. Kisuke watches the brunette’s lips curl up in a soft smile when Juushiro sticks his head out to the shaded balcony and shakes his head like a shaggy dog trying to shirk off the water clinging to its fur. He personally can’t see what’s cute about the action, but he can see how Shunsui’s reaction was personal and averts his eyes. 

His heart thunders for some unknown reason. That one glance he took at Shunsui’s face was like stepping in on a very private moment. He feels scummy. 

A second later, the realisation is rushing in, blunt and brutal in its enormity and somehow lacking any sense of suddenness. It’s almost as if he has always known, and only just understood. 

His eyes find Shunsui’s again and the darker grey of the taller man’s widen. The space between them extends the confines of the few physical feet separating them and spans across a lifetime before converging again, swift but unhurried. It is a weird sensation and it leaves him nearly breathless. 

“I… come on in.” He says. Shunsui nods. 

When Juushiro sticks his head back in, he takes one look at his ‘best friend’ and is immediately beside him. Kisuke wonders how unsettled they both look for a second. 

They probably weren’t planning on making it this awkward, Kisuke realises when he figures out that’s what they came here to tell him. The way they lean into each other makes it seem obvious enough that they are ready. 

Kisuke has never known something with such clarity. It’s curious. Does an asexual person have a gaydar? He will have to look into it. 

“Congratulations, you two.” He smiles and he steps up to offer a hug, notices their soaking outfits, glances down to make sure water isn’t puddling at their feet and steps back, not necessarily in that order. 

Juushiro takes a deep breath and threads his fingers through Shunsui’s longer ones. It’s a sweet gesture. 

“We are going to make a post tomorrow on Instagram officially coming out and we thought our friends should know beforehand. We were going to tell everyone after college today but,” he makes a vague gesture at where rain continues to fall outside. His voice doesn’t falter but then, Juushiro has always been the more daring of the two. 

“So, am I the test trial of the entire process?” He jokes. His friends’ expressions lighten along with his when they realise, he truly isn’t a homophobic bastard. 

“Yeah and we failed, damn your perceptiveness.” Shunsui offers him a bright smile. Kisuke decides it should be declared illegal to steal that away from the man’s face. 

He shrugs. “I feel like I have always known, subconsciously. Or maybe I don’t find it surprising because you two have such amazing chemistry with each other that everyone at some point sort of realised you’d be great together.” 

Juushiro blushes, Shunsui crowds him into his chest. Kisuke thinks he is exceptionally lucky to see all of his friends find love around themselves and never learn to crave a romantic connection like that. He has a suspicion he would be very picky with a partner and end up making himself jealous of everyone else that has found happiness already. 

As good as he thinks green looks on him, he doesn’t want to brand his skin with it. He is happy, happier than he has been in years. Someday he thinks he might even be in their place instead, only to be welcomed like they were welcomed by him. The thought makes his heart expand. 

After all, there are so many different types of love in this world and Kisuke has been blessed with a lot of them. So, what if he can’t feel one form of it? He doesn’t feel incomplete without it. 

He doesn’t think he would believe anyone if they told him he was, anymore. 

…

The next time he sees Yoruichi is barely two hours after Shunsui and Juushiro left. She storms in, looking harried, asks him if he has heard and when he says yes gives him a tight hug. 

He returns if with similar ferocity because he can understand her overwhelming sense of relief. 

When she pulls away, though her expression looks pinched. He scowls. Today of all days, that look has no reason to belong on Yoruichi’s sharp but kind features. 

He drags her down to his bedroom where they remain sprawled across his bed for a good half hour before she starts talking. It is sort of their ritual and he knows as adventurous as their souls are, this safe space is a break from the world tirelessly rushing around them. It’s easier to breathe on his cheap cotton bedspreads, in this small, unkempt room that smells of an excess of male deodorant and, quite contrastingly, Rat Kill. 

“I hooked up with someone days after I moved in here and now, she’s threatening to spill the beans to everyone.” 

With a jerky movement of her hand, she tosses her mobile phone onto her chest. He lifts it to see the screen open to a chatbot. He doesn’t recognise the name of the woman; doesn’t think she goes to their college. He reads the thinly veiled threat in the message and places the phone face down between them. 

“My parents will kill me, Kisuke.” 

He does believe he has never heard Yoruichi sound so genuinely frightened before. 

“What does she want?” 

Yoruichi shrugs. “I don’t think she wants anything. I think she is just pissed for whatever reason, bored, maybe. I don’t know! That’s not the point!”

“Just when I thought things were getting better…-”

“Oh yeah? For whom?! Because they certainly haven’t gotten any easier for either of us! We’re still living a lie and we’ll have to continue doing it till God alone knows when. Tell me, what has gotten better for whom.” 

For years he has wallowed in the misery that comes along with his reality. For years he has hidden. He doesn’t think he should be screamed at for allowing a ray of hope to enter his heart. 

No matter how stupid she’s now making it out to be. 

He doesn’t reply, he doesn’t know what to say. Just this morning he was thinking they will be fine but Yoruichi’s distress is like the bursting of a bubble, because what does it matter if someone else is as ‘abnormal’ as they’re going to be branded. They have yet to actually put themselves out there and the mere idea is chilling all of a sudden. They don’t even know how people are going to react to Shunsui and Juushiro and they are definitely more acceptable than Kisuke is. 

“We could wait and see how people react to those two and maybe then you could…-”

She snorts, loud and derisive. 

“I could what? Come out? Are you serious right now? No, I absolutely can’t. I have barely started making friends around here.” 

“They aren’t your friends if they can’t accept your truth.” 

She gives him an incredulous look, like what he just said belongs only and only inside a novel. 

…

Things are tense for the next few days, so much so that when Soi Fon returns she immediately picks up on the fact that there’s something wrong. She doesn’t say anything to Kisuke, he doesn’t know if she asked Yoruichi anything though he suspects she prefers to stay out of their business. 

Whenever he and Yoruichi share space the tension between them is palpable. Between the Big Gay Announcement (that went very well but for some reason pressed Yoruichi further into herself) and the weird beef the two of them have, their friend group has taken on a damper too, which usually means less fucking around and more work being done given how they form the majority of the new planning committee, so he supposes that’s good. 

He doesn’t know what gives them this spectacular idea that what they need to bring things back on track between Kisuke and Yoruichi is a night partying in the former’s dingy apartment with loads of alcohol and the threat of impending bad decisions looming over their heads. Objectively, he knows it’s a stupid idea. Practically, he is very aware that they’re all college students and he jokes with himself that he doesn’t want to betray the sole coping mechanism of so many others who have passed through these halls before him. 

The night starts well. Making cocktails is one of Kisuke’s secret hobbies and the everyone enjoys the monstrous sounding, but heavenly tasting drinks he has come up with over the past years. Rangiku was drunk before she came in. Juushiro is sitting snug in Shunsui’s lap, stealing his drinks because he ‘doesn’t want his boyfriend to shed his dignity along with all sobriety’ but anyone can tell he just misses letting loose. Now that he has nothing to hide, he probably feels incredibly comfortable. 

Kisuke gives Yoruichi a pointed look when he notices that, but she avoids his gaze. 

Soon enough, Retsu and Hirako are the only two sober people in the group of twelve. They are on the floor and someone tried to set up candles and light them for some reason, gave up halfway and they have somehow ended up in Kensei’s lap. It’s funnier than it should be and Hiyori spends seventeen minutes laughing about it. Kisuke can feel a pleasant buzz in the back of his skull that tells him going over to Soi Fon’s apartment next door, dragging her out and throwing her into Yoruichi’s arms is the best idea he will ever have so he sits on his hands and tucks his tongue between his teeth till it sticks out and Starrk starts laughing. 

“I really wasn’t expecting it from you though, you never seemed gay.” Kenpachi claps Shunsui’s back and it’s weird how you only tune in when something disturbing is being said because there was clearly a conversation happening that he missed. He frowns and stares at Kenpachi because out of everyone he had seemed the most welcoming. 

Soft homophobia, he recalls and his mouth falls into an open ‘o’. Retsu has to place a finger on his chin and snap it shut. 

Shunsui takes it in surprisingly good grace but Rangiku decides to intervene. Drunkenly swaying up from where she was lying back on the floor, she tries to sit up but slips and breaks her fall with a painful thud of her elbows. 

“I dumped Gin.” 

“I’ll drink to that,” Hisagi mutters. 

“Judge a man by the company he keeps and all that.” She swings her arms around wildly, forgetting they are supporting her and crashing back down. It’s sort of pathetic. Kisuke thinks she might cry. Hisagi still blushes. “You all… you all need to find me a guy now.” 

They drunkenly cheer in agreement but then Rangiku is pinning her glacial blue eyes on Yoruichi and oh no. Kisuke knows that smirk. It spells trouble. 

“But before that, you!” Rangiku jabs Yoruichi in her left boob. Retsu hisses so Kisuke thinks it must be painful. “You need to take the blonde bull by his number-nerd horns and RIDE IT!” 

If Kisuke and Yoruichi weren’t half as intoxicated they’d have understood where this was going the moment the group burst out in raucous laughter around them, but their eyes are similarly glassy and they find each other they meet in shared confusion, their irritation with each other dissolving in seconds. 

“What bull?” Yoruichi slurs. Rangiku throws her head back in laughter and points exaggeratedly towards Kisuke. 

shit

Yoruichi’s eyes widen and then she’s laughing herself. “There’s nothing…” she stops to chuckle. “There’s nothing between us for God’s sake. What?!”

“Don’t be shy, kitty.” Kenpachi smirks and Kisuke can feel his head spinning. “Anyone can see how close you two are.” 

“Nooooooo.” Yoruichi drawls. “I can’t see him that way.” 

“Why? You got something to tell us?” Hirako laughs. A jolt climbs up Kisuke’s spine and he narrows his eyes. ‘It’s a joke, he is joking!’ He wants to convey to Yoruichi. 

Golden eyes are wide and clear now, Yoruichi’s face white and her expression slack. She gives Hirako a terrified glance and Retsu next to Kisuke has picked up on her distress and is asking people to calm down. Yoruichi’s gaze shifts to Urahara. 

“I mean, Shun and Juu-chan have already set the stage for you, might as well get it over with!” Rangiku hoots. 

… and it’s mindless gentle ribbing! The fact that they are joking about this has got to say something about how they probably won’t hate them but Yoruichi is too drunk, too scared to think. Kisuke feels his heart mirroring her fright when the expression in her eyes steels. 

“Guess you’re right. It’s about time.” She says. 

All of a sudden, Kisuke is completely sober and Yoruichi is straddling him before he can react. Somebody cheers and lips cover his. 

His lips tingle at the soft ministrations and when his arms run around her waist it’s purely out of a need to ground himself rather than wanting to tug her closer as everyone’s happy cheers around them signify, they’ve interpreted the gesture to be. Yoruichi’s hands are in his hair, tugging his head back and she has no patience because a second later she is sucking on his tongue. It is messy, slobbery…

… and he feels nothing.

Yoruichi licks behind his teeth and his mouth trembles. Okay, so maybe he is feeling mild discomfort after all. 

The doorbell rings, sharp and he doesn’t register how that signifies someone is at the door till he hears it being swung open. A loud gasp follows and Yoruichi and Kisuke pull away from each other. 

Kisuke watches golden eyes meet silver and he can do nothing as Yoruichi’s face falls like her entire world has collapsed. 

“I-”, he has never heard Soi Fon sound so unsure as she hurriedly averts her eyes. “Just. I… please keep it down I am trying to sleep.” She mutters and then she’s turning away. 

A heart-breaking sob rips out of Yoruichi’s throat that makes the shorter girl pause and turns around. The smile on Soi Fon’s face cuts Kisuke’s core. 

“I am sorry!” Yoruichi cries. There are tears pooling in her eyes and nobody dares to move an inch as they watch. 

“No. It’s-it’s fine, it’s okay. You don’t need to apologise, of course. I just- I guess I misread everything.” Her voice breaks, her chin trembles and then she’s running and Yoruichi is running behind her and Kisuke doesn’t know how they will ever come back from this.

…

There’s no avoiding the truth after that. Morning finds the group consoling a heartbroken Yoruichi who won’t stop crying after Soi Fon asked her to leave her alone. Most of them have realised what’s up at this point but nobody says anything. Kenpachi and Kensei are kicked out to buy ice cream and then they have a Marvel marathon into the wee hours of the Sunday morning once Yoruichi figures out how to stop crying. 

Rangiku is talking about how there are so many better girls in the world and quite contrastingly, how she’s positive Soi Fon will come around. Nobody knows what to believe or say so they keep quiet. 

“I am sorry, Kisuke.”, Yoruichi whispers at some point. He opens his arms and allows her to cuddle in. 

The screen bathes the gathered people in colourful lights. Kenpachi grumbled about how this party was supposed to be something to help lift everyone’s moods and Yoruichi asks him what he thinks a gay man looks like. 

Kenpachi might be impulsive but he isn’t stupid and gets her intent in a second. 

“He looks like someone who fucks guys and I said that because I have known Shunsui since playschool and he has only ever dated women.” 

“I keep telling you I am bisexual.”, Shunsui mutters and Yoruichi mumbles another apology, nose now buried in Kisuke’s collarbone. He notices she cuddles in like a cat and it makes him nuzzle her neck. 

“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you into kissing Urahara-san.”, Rangiku mutters. Hirako nods only to be elbowed by Hiyori and immediately reminded of the fact that he was the one who brought sexualities into question which was where Yoruichi panicked. He grumbles he had no way of knowing, is elbowed again and reluctantly mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ‘gomen’ but Kisuke won’t bet money on it. 

“It's none of your faults. I was fucking paranoid and I should have known better.” Yoruichi mutters and it sucks that this is how it came to a head but the relief that fills Kisuke now that everything is out is so palpable that he can’t help the calm spreading inside him. Unmindful of his actions, he starts rocking her against his chest. 

“The closet is a difficult place to be in Yoru-chan. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”, Juushiro squeezes her shoulder. 

Like lightning, something so obvious strikes Kisuke that he belts out a loud laugh at the timing. Yoruichi gives him an unimpressed glance and he coughs to get his glee under control. 

“Wait! So, the first time I saw you lurking around, were you stalking Soi Fon?!” 

A dark hand crashes against his jaw in a painful slap and Yoruichi sputters out surprisingly coy giggles of her own. 

“Yes! Yes, you fucking idiot.” She shakes her head at him and he feels now familiar warmth bloom in his chest as he remembers how he had accused her of being a thief the moment he saw her. They really are idiots, bloody ridiculous idiots and he’s so glad they’ve found each other as well as the people around them. 

“You’ll be fine. You’ll work it out.” 

He doesn’t know where the optimism comes from, it’s pretty abrupt but Yoruichi drinks in it, let it calm the anguish inside her eyes and nods against his shoulder. 

“Damn right I will.” 

…

The carnival is a bloody success and Kisuke is proud of that because the turmoil they were in as they prepared for it should have been a good enough excuse to do a fucking despicable job, but Yoruichi came through for her University like she came through for Soi Fon. 

Kisuke smiles as he roams the grounds, ducking in and out from colourful tents and stalls, sidestepping to clear the way for local patrons and stopping to engage with students he knows. The day is cloudy and cool. He has heard people say how they would have prepared some sun but he doesn’t really care. God decided to answer his wish after all, and the rest of them can hate and hope for different weather all they want. 

Kenpachi waves at him from his stall, where he lazes on his back as his high school lackeys, Bald and Beautiful, man his stall of the most half-assed thing he could think of, popcorn. The two seem to be under some weird impression that Kenpachi is a gang leader and they’re a part of his posse, so to speak. It weird but Kenpachi is determined to milk it for as long as possible. 

Kisuke waves back and moves on. 

Life has calmed down around them, Yoruichi and Soi Fon are together, Juushiro and Shunsui are everyone’s adoptive gay dads, Gin grew the balls to say bye to Aizen and Hinamori finally decided to sue him for his horrible violation of her privacy yesterday. Kisuke can’t think of a better day for the carnival to fall on. Their spirits are high, and their laughter is light. They’re closer than ever. 

… and as for him? He is learning to believe that not everyone is a hateful monster to beware of. Letting everyone know the truth put an instant stop to Rangiku’s matchmaking stints and he feels freed and happy. It’s beautiful to be accepted for who you are, after all. 

Plus, if Soi Fon is sort of wary around him now, it’s just another thing to tease her about. He never gets enough of her indignant squawking and vaguely threatening air punches. She never lands them anymore though and secretly look fond of him. Yoruichi mentioned telling her how much Kisuke has been there for her. He hopes one day, when the time feels right, he will get to tell her how big of a support system Yoruichi has been for him, too by merely being who she is and existing in his world. He plans to send her that video of Yoruichi destroying Aizen on her birthday next week. 

He feels his mindless grin broaden when he catches sight of the stall he was headed towards. Shunsui and Juushiro have come together to set up a stall where they give their patrons hand-drawn pencil sketches of themselves. It turns out only Shunsui can actually sketch and Juushiro is there because the other man sucks in money matters so much that he was actually afraid Shunsui would forget to charge their customers. 

He waves at Shunsui, who doesn’t notice because he’s sketching a teenage girl who keeps blushing whenever their eyes meet, clearly someone’s younger sister. Juushiro stands by the display in the side, though and smiled when he watches Kisuke’s eyes widen. 

Nobody told him this was going to happen. 

The display is made upon Pride goodies, badges, flags, glasses and whatnot. It’s set up in a cute stand that Kensei probably helped carve. He gives Juushiro an amused look and only gets a shrug in return. 

His fingers run over a badge with a black, grey, white and purple stripe each and he doesn’t know why simply feeling the smooth, glossed surface of the little accessory brings tears to his eyes. Wiping his eyes hastily, he offers it to Juushiro to bag. After only a moment’s hesitation, he picks a Lesbian Pride badge and asks Juushiro to give him that as well. 

He’s sure Yoruichi would love it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me about Bleach on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/shamelessllamapeanutthing) or on my [Bleach side blog!](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/rhazziiiiiiii)


End file.
